| its not fair that
you can love someone so much,
and care about someone so much...
they become...
your world.
your life.
your passion.
your desire.
your best friend.
your everything...
...and then faster than you realized you love them, they slip away and you lose them forever.
FOREVER...
...is both a positive and negative term.
the positives:
"ill love you forever"
"we'll be together forever"...
the negative is that reguardless of whether you meant it or not...
...it was nothing but a broken promise and a bitter memory.
im bitter...
...because i meant it...
...and i still remember.
-jamie leigh.
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[...i forget everything i used to know...
how to leave the boy behind...without having to watch him go...] VENT- Since nobody ever reads this anyway i think its safe to say that its been almost 7 months since Josh and I have broken up. And i still feel the same damn way that i felt the day we broke up. I guess once you truly love someone, you never stop. NEVER. ive been through 7 boys since Josh...im on the 8th one...Johnny. I really like him. ALOT. ...but something keeps holding me back. I dont want to go through my whole life missing him. I feel like i wont ever be able to care about anyone again...it hurts. |
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| June 11th...
"You can be with him, you can be a part of him, and you can love him...but the minute you let your guard down, and let him think that you can't live without him, you'll lose him."
"you went into the relationship strong...you HAVE to come out of it the same way"
"in order to keep him interested, you gotta keep that "i dont give a fuck" attitude."
"one thing he really likes about you is that you don't give in. you stay strong, and you do what you want...not what he wants."
on this day i decided that things need to change. ive been so miserable and unhappy since Febuary 2nd...and ive been missing out on so much. ive been so blinded by my own depression...
i need to smile more. i need to laugh more. i need to live more.
I LIKE THIS BOY. today is the day that i realized that i am falling for Robbie Helms. <3 |
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| "What we do for ourselves, dies with us. What we do for others, lives on to be remembered and honored." -annonymous
I watched an episode of "Criminal Minds" tonight and it made me cry...like so many other things do these days... It was about a woman who claimed to have murdered her son, and served 15 years on death row, just to save her son from her sexual-psycopath husband. Though her son was still alive...living with a wealthy family and living a life she could never have given him, she refused to confess her innocence. She died an innocent woman...for her son.
...to love someone that much, and to be loved by someone that much is phenomenal. It hurts to think that something as remarkable as that can even exsist in today's world. I know it was just some crazy TV show...but I learned alot about life in that 60 minutes.
...No matter how much you truely love someone...the decisions you make prove how much you care... For instance...staying out of their life to make it better for them. (which is something I've had to do recently.)
Love hurts. And no matter how much I tell myself that it will all be okay one day, I can't believe that anything could hurt as bad as not being able to truely know that one person you love...not even death row. |
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| "I'm waiting on the sun to set,
'cause yesterday aint over yet.
I started smoking cigarettes,
there's nothing else to do, I guess." -Miranda Lambert
...SO I PICKED UP MY GUITAR FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME... -->
They say love leaves a memory...
well I guess sometimes thats true.
After all what do you call
that photograph of me and you?
And its been said that love hurts sometimes,
but now thats all I feel...
God won't build a mountain I can't climb,
then why can't I even make it over this hill?
What you did
it hurt so bad,
but I cant just forget
the way that you stood staring
as I walked away with regret.
But the reasons I have to stay...
I have to let you know
...are much greater
than the reasons I want to go...
I think about my brother,
and how awful it would be...
for my niece to grow up
with nothing more than an instant memory...
And I pray...that I make the right decision
but it leaves me wishin' I was free.
There's just so much left to do,
and someone left to be...
...and I wont let my family down,
and the friends that do still care.
I won't let my feelings show,
and my thoughts of having you there.
We used to be something unstoppable,
but now I'm just a wreck.
I guess that I can thank you for that...
What you did
it hurt so bad,
but I cant just forget.
the way that you stood staring
as I walked away with regret.
But the reasons I have to stay
I have to let you know.
...are much greater
than the reasons I want to go...
So I guess its over with.
Said and done...
with all this pain
I just wanna run.
I feel so empty sometimes
that I bring myself down so low...but I just wanna know why..
the reasons I have to stay
are greater than the reasons I want to go.
-me
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| we've got classic colas and ice cold coronas....
heeey, this is how we do it...good times, sunshine, and SUMMERTIME... |
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